Living for Jesus, no matter the cost

Well it has been almost four years since I wrote last! Since then, we have added two more kids so I'm no longer just Trevor's Mama, I'm also Olivia and Gideon's 😃 I decided to start up my blog once again because I feel like writing my thoughts here instead of Facebook, would help it so people can come here instead me clogging up their newsfeed with my super long posts !! One of the things I have been meditating on, since hearing a song by Selah " Be my heart, my hands 😙, my voice ". Here's the first part of the song " How are we living for Christ ? How are we living for Christ "? Following Him, we will sacrifice, but are we willing to die " ? That part got me. Dying for Christ. I always thought when I heard that part, it me at a literal dying, standing up for Christ when we are faced with death. But, a light bulb went on when I thought " he actually might mean that we can sacrifice reading out Bible daily, taking someone a meal, going to church when we have a had a long weekend, praying for someone in need. And the dying part is giv no up something you really, really want. About 7 months ago, I was driving to church and struggling. Driving is hard for me, trusting God that He will get me where I need to go. I remember praying out loud " Lord, please help me or give me s way to trust you more"! Then when we found out about losing our daughter while I was still 24 weeks pregnant, I thought " Lord no ! This was not the way I wanted to trust you more "😥 But, it was. The lord has been so faithful for my struggle these last 6 months. My view of God has changed drastically from a God who gave me the things I wanted to thr things I truly NEEDED. Back to thr dying for Christ. Are we willing to die ?? Not thr literal dying for Christ when we are faced with death. But the giving up things you really, really want to still have. For me, it has been many things that I've had to give up. One of them being, my fantasy world. That is something I've always had and had control over ( or so I always thought ) and about two months ago, I had given everything over to God ( and still have to ! ) and I was clinging to that one sin. The Lord wanted it for sure. And as soon as I gave it up, life became harder for me because I still wanted it bsck ! Life still continues to be a journey for out family and I have learned to take one day at a time. I hope you have enjoyed my so what scattered thoughts and that it truly is an encouragement to you😃 Also, I'm sorry for the terrible misspellings and random smiley faces ! My computer is being weird and will not let me go back and correct them !!